New pictures and updates!

The last 24 hours has been the most exciting time for us, in terms of updates and information about Jonathan. Yesterday afternoon, we were able to see a video of the Transition House (provided by a family who traveled just over two weeks ago) that showed a bit of Jonathan in his current home. It was so excited to see him moving and watch his facial expressions (still seems like he is a very serious little man... at least, in front of the cameras).

And last night, we had a deluge of pictures and information come through from Kinshasa, as another of our adoption friends traveled to pick-up their beautiful daughter, Addy. I must say that this momma has gone so far above and beyond for all of us waiting parents that I just don't know how I can thank her enough! Not only did she start posting pictures last night (only her second day in country and the first day she met her daughter!), but this morning I awoke to more photos and comments about each of the children she met! It was so exciting to read an actual description of Jonathan and to hear what size he was wearing. These may seem like small details to someone outside of the adoption world, but to me, they are some of the most amazing things to read:

Jonathan- size 2-4, quiet (vocally) likes to get attention. Would do anything to make us laugh. I made the mistake of laughing when he threw a toy at me and he thought it was so funny when I laughed...it was hard to get him to stop--totally my fault! I don't think I laughed that hard all day. He is the new "Pierre" of the house!

I don't know much about Pierre as he went home back in June, but from what I can tell from other blogs, he's all-boy... a bit mischievous, a lot lovable. That sounds like a great predecessor for Jonathan to have :). We do a lot of laughing around here!

And just having been in the Transition Home for two weeks, he already looks much more comfortable and healthy than in our last photos. He's got gorgeous skin, bright eyes and a perfectly round, shaved head. He still has a very serious look (we've yet to see him smile!) but our friend in country assured me that he laughs a lot - just not in front of the camera. And to be honest, I love his little suspicious looks - I think he'll fit in just fine around here! My youngest daughter has some very similar looks of her own.

Such a beautiful group of children! Can't wait to meet some of them myself soon!

So, we should be getting an updated medical later this week (which will be the first time we've ever known his actual height and weight - hopefully all the 3T clothes I bought will fit!), and we are just waiting on a few more documents before we can file our I600 (the last and most important US step in our process). The I600 will lead to our Embassy appointment, which will lead to Jonathan's visa and our travel. Exciting times around here, and we are hoping to be with this little guy before his 4th birthday on January 6th!

Our Little Guy...

We were able to get our first new picture of Jonathan (from a very kind traveling family) since July. He looks very much the same - still sad and serious and very handsome. This picture was taken just two days after his arrival to the Transition Home, so I am certainly not surprised that he looks so wary, but it still breaks my heart a little bit to look into his face and know exactly what he needs but not be able to give it to him. I've been a mother for over seven years and whenever one of my children has this look, it's because she needs me to scoop her up in my arms, hug her as tightly as I can, and tell her that it's going to be okay (and, yes, I still try to do this with my 7 year old!). It's so hard to look at this photo and not be able to do just that for my son:

We love you!

A Great Divide

It's occurred to me over the past few weeks that I am constantly living in two worlds. My life here is full of hard work, fun, laughs, and so many other things to keep me busy and occupied, but each day, I find my mind wandering to thoughts of a little boy whom I've never met, yet somehow still love and care for from across an ocean. I'll be doing the simplest of tasks, folding laundry or cooking dinner, when I realize that the only things I've been thinking of revolve around Jonathan's recent move to Kinshasa or to the emails I hope to receive with notice of progress on our case or what time it is in Kinshasa and what he might be doing. It's the strangest sensation - missing someone you've never met. 

And today I'll find myself absently checking my email, hoping that before the weekend we'll hear some sort of news or receive a new picture, and each time, when there is nothing there of interest, I feel another twinge of disappointment.

And though I am struggling somewhat, I am trying to remember how lucky we are to be as far along as we are. I speak with parents each week who are stalled in some step of the process or another and realize that we are very close. But as we get closer, oddly enough, the waiting seems to get more difficult. As we get closer, he feels more like our son. And how can I live normally with my own child so far out of my care and control? Each day, he becomes more real and then seems that much further away.