Saturday, May 19, 2012


I've always been a believer in things happening as they should... whether it's called fate or destiny, I tend to think I've followed a certain path because of some grand plan. When we decided to adopt, it seemed like (for many years) that I was fighting against my fate. Each turn we took seemed to lead us down the wrong path; nothing about our adoption choices and plans felt 'right' to me; and each month, we found ourselves further and further away from completing an adoption of our future child.

Many times, I thought we should halt our adoption (and at one point, we put it on hold for about a year), but I'm stubborn at heart. I wouldn't give up, and I couldn't shake the feeling that we were supposed to adopt our third child, even if evidence kept piling up that we weren't on the right path.

When we considered our options of changing to the DRC program and being matched with JN, I felt, for the first time in our journey, that we were on the exact path that we were intended to be. Everything clicked into place - I was finally at peace with our choices (versus being tormented that we would make the 'wrong' decision). And as if to confirm the feelings I was having, everywhere I turned there were signs. Some big, and some small, but undeniably odd occurrences that had to be more than coincidence.

At some point, I started documenting those signs, because they have been so important to me in affirming that this was the right path. That this adoption attempt will end with a son who will complete our family. Here are some of my favorite signs:

  1. On the day that we had to make a decision about switching agencies, programs, and being matched with JN, I was driving home from dropping off Hannah and was so conflicted. I literally said aloud, "Just give me a sign, please."

    When I got home, I started to research a trip we were taking that weekend to a local art museum. When I checked to see which traveling exhibits we would see, the first banner should a Congolese sculpture. The title of the exhibit was "Visions from the Congo"! We committed that day and saw that exhibit a few days later. When I asked for a sign, I'm not sure I knew it would be so clear or would come so quickly!

  2. Prior to telling Hannah and Emma about our referral (we had lost a referral before so wanted to wait to tell them until things were a bit firmer), I took them shopping and was picking out a few toys for JN's upcoming care package. I'd recently found out that JN spoke Swahili, and I was looking for picture books or similar. While shopping, Emma walked up to me with a big smile and said, 'Hakuna Matata!'. This means "There are no worries," in Swahili. She hadn't watched The Lion King in years!

  3. If you combine the birthstones of Hannah, Emma, and JN, it makes the colors of the US flag!

  4. I bought a children's book for Valentine's Day without reading it all the way through. It taught the phrase 'I love you' in multiple languages, and when I got home (out of only about 8 languages that were represented), I found the translation 'Nakupenda', which is Swahili, JN's native language.

  5. Everyone in our family had the blood type A+, and I've always joked (sort of) that if ever needed (hopefully not), we could be blood or organ donors for one another. When I got JN's medicals, the first thing I noticed was that he, too, is A+!

Those aren't the only things, but they are my favorites. And whenever I'm having an uncertain moment about the status of our adoption, I just read over these and know that this is going to happen. I really believe that, finally, we are right where we are supposed to be.

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